Oh Hormones.

I was just reading this (just started reading her blog, since soon I too will have a newborn AND a toddler ohmygosh) and realized that Madie is NOT going to appreciate me being in the hospital for 4 days (c-section) with this new little person that she will no doubt already be vying with for mom and dad's attention. And there may be tears. And this makes me cry. Right here, at work, at my desk.  Right after one of my co-worker's asked me if I hadn't been feeling well. Because I look tired today.  Yes, I am a little tired. Thanks for asking. I am growing a person. It's hard work peeps! But I digress. I did have one of the worst nights of sleep last night.  I lay half awake thinking/dreaming the oddest things and I dwell on them and they don't make any sense at all, but I just keep thinking about them and thinking about them somewhere in the land of half-awake, not quite sleep.  It's exhausting, yo!

Anyways, the HORMONES! I remember it being bad last time too.  I cry at everything. Happy, sad, unfair, it doesn't matter.  I know it has a ton to do with the hormones, and a lot to do with the fact that I stop my anti-OCD meds during pregnancy.  Which is just a semi-fancy way of saying very high dosage of anti-anxiety pills.  Which around this 25 week mark I begin to miss. A lot.  I started them back up at the tail end of the last pregnancy, not the full dosage, but about 25mg. I will probably start that again soonish, but am trying to wait as long as I can.  Technically, Zoloft is fairly safe to take while pregnant, but my normal dosage for OCD is 250mg and that just shouldn't fly with a little person in me.  And so I cry instead. Kidding. Mostly.

Going to a Pure Romance party tonight which should be interesting since I feel entirely the opposite of romantic when I am pregnant. Oh well.  The hostess is also pregnant and as she told me "We could check out what they say Basic Instinct smell does with pregnant women's hormones!". So there is that!


Madism from yesterday:
I wear my long, wavy hair up in a ponytail pretty much every day.  I just don't like dealing with it and think it is too out of control if it isn't straightened, but who has time to do that shiz every day? But yesterday I left it down.  And wavy.  ALL DAY! I picked Mads up from daycare and while putting her in the car she just kept staring at me thoughtfully.  Finally she says, "Your hair's pretty".


Are you surprised that I am wearing it down again today? Me neither.