Madie has this saying now from being told that we are just teasing her. She now knows when she is being teased and says" Oh, you are teasing me". It is especially cute because she puts such emphasis on each of the words. But she also says it now when we say no to something that she finds perfectly acceptable. The other night, it was Jason's turn to go into her room when she called out from bed. Some nights she goes right to sleep, other nights, we have to go in about upteen bajillion times. Well, when he went in, she asked if she could have some crackers. Jason said, no, it is bedtime. So she asked if she could have a cookie. He again said no.
"Now you are just teasing me".
He brought her a cookie.
**********************************************************************************
Jason told Madie on Mother's Day what the day was and to say Happy Mother's Day to me, which so did with gusto, over and over, all day long. It was wonderful. Both Jason and my mom had cards for me from Madie that they wanted her to sign (have I mentioned that she can write not only her name, but also "MOM" and "DAD"?? OMG). Both times they tried to whisper to her to come and sign the cards for Mommy and both times she ran up to me and told me to stay, she needed to go write her name in my card. We spent the day with my mom at her house and the park and went home when Jason was done with his hockey tourney. We went out and had a nice dinner as well. That night was one of Madie's up for 2 hours after I put her to bed nights and the last time that I went into her room, around 10, I vowed to not say a word. Ignore her pleas of "Can I sleep in Mommy Daddy bed?" or "Can I have new juice?". Just kiss her and place her back in her bed and turn and walk out. Which I did, until I was just about to close the door when I heard "I love you Mommy. Happy Mother's Day". Oh, man. That child. I don't think my heart can hold so much love.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Friday, May 4, 2012
Completely Over This Week.
It's been an emotional week. Some of my loved ones are really struggling with some difficult, bad things and it is not helping that my mental state with this end-of-pregnancy is not so good either.
Without getting into details, my aunt is dealing with a tragedy involving losing her boyfriend and essentially her home as well as she does not want to go back after what happened. My mom is dealing with losing her boyfriend and home as well, in a different way though because he is just a bad person and is trying to evict her from the home that she has lived in for 16 years. This came with no communication or warning.
I went in for my baby's weight check on Wed and was told she is 8.5lbs give or take a pound and I am only at 35 weeks. I went to my doctor thinking he would plan for surgery at 38 weeks due to the size, but he instead told me he would not schedule before 39 weeks, May 31st, without an amnio. I will be in the hospital for 4 days which would involve me missing Madie's 3rd birthday party, bounce house and all. This, along with the growing middle of the night panic attacks that I dread every night that I may wake up to, sent me damn near the edge and I was sobbing, hardly able to breathe on the way to my car. And then realizing that my keys were no where to be found. Not a good topper to the shit week.
Now that I have had time to process the information, I have decided that I will plead, cry, beg, whatever it takes on Monday's appointment to let me schedule the c-section for May 29th. That way, I will at least be out of the hospital on Madie's birthday and be able to be at her party the next day. I WILL pull this off. I am determined.
Better yet, how about this baby comes earlier on her own, as long as she is healthy? I can hope.
Without getting into details, my aunt is dealing with a tragedy involving losing her boyfriend and essentially her home as well as she does not want to go back after what happened. My mom is dealing with losing her boyfriend and home as well, in a different way though because he is just a bad person and is trying to evict her from the home that she has lived in for 16 years. This came with no communication or warning.
I went in for my baby's weight check on Wed and was told she is 8.5lbs give or take a pound and I am only at 35 weeks. I went to my doctor thinking he would plan for surgery at 38 weeks due to the size, but he instead told me he would not schedule before 39 weeks, May 31st, without an amnio. I will be in the hospital for 4 days which would involve me missing Madie's 3rd birthday party, bounce house and all. This, along with the growing middle of the night panic attacks that I dread every night that I may wake up to, sent me damn near the edge and I was sobbing, hardly able to breathe on the way to my car. And then realizing that my keys were no where to be found. Not a good topper to the shit week.
Now that I have had time to process the information, I have decided that I will plead, cry, beg, whatever it takes on Monday's appointment to let me schedule the c-section for May 29th. That way, I will at least be out of the hospital on Madie's birthday and be able to be at her party the next day. I WILL pull this off. I am determined.
Better yet, how about this baby comes earlier on her own, as long as she is healthy? I can hope.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Reptiles
One thing that I really like about all the daily deal sites that are around now is that I find out about events and places that I never would have known about before.
A week or two ago, I got one for discounted tickets to a reptile expo in my town. I am always looking for ways to entertain Madie on the weekends, so I bought a pair of tickets and yesterday myself, my mom, and Madie ventured over to a hotel by the MOA to check out the event which promised to have "reptiles, reptiles and more reptiles!". It did not disappoint. I may have a little girl, but man does she love snakes and frogs and turtles.
The room it was held in was medium sized, but crammed with tables full of every reptile that you could think of. Along with the odd tarantula or scorpion. At one point Madie went running over to a HUGE glass cage with a MASSIVE boa in it and wiggles her finger at the snake going "Awww hi baby!!". Only this kid. There was also bins of little lizards and she wanted to hold them, which she did. She let me set them in her little hand and she was so gentle. But then she started to want to pick them up herself and as gentle as a two year can try to be, they are still two and so we moved on for fear of squishing any little critters between her little fingers. She touched snakes and lizards and frogs and big lizard-thingies-what-are-they-called-who-knows.
We came across a man with a small alligator (about 3 ft long) who was letting a little girl who looked to be about 5 or 6 sit on the floor with the gator in her lap and get her picture taken. Madie was enthralled. We asked her if she would like to hold the alligator and she nodded so we waited our turn and she sat right down and had the gator placed in her lap. She sat there so good and so calm and maybe there was a little tiny bit of apprehension in her eyes, but I was so proud of her because even at her age, she knows if there is something that she wants to try, even if it is out of her comfort zone and she just goes for it. Afterwards, she said "I was a little shy". And I told her that it was okay to be shy, but that it was SO neat that she held that alligator. And she knew it was. She was proud of herself too.
Last night/morning, she woke up and Jason went and got her and she came and crawled into bed with me. Before we fell back to sleep, she whispered to me:
"Hey mom, you know what?"
"What honey?"
"Me and you are friends."
"Yes we are honey, best friends."
"And Daddy is a friend too. He is a big friend and you are a little bit big friend and I am a little friend."
I love her more than words.
A week or two ago, I got one for discounted tickets to a reptile expo in my town. I am always looking for ways to entertain Madie on the weekends, so I bought a pair of tickets and yesterday myself, my mom, and Madie ventured over to a hotel by the MOA to check out the event which promised to have "reptiles, reptiles and more reptiles!". It did not disappoint. I may have a little girl, but man does she love snakes and frogs and turtles.
The room it was held in was medium sized, but crammed with tables full of every reptile that you could think of. Along with the odd tarantula or scorpion. At one point Madie went running over to a HUGE glass cage with a MASSIVE boa in it and wiggles her finger at the snake going "Awww hi baby!!". Only this kid. There was also bins of little lizards and she wanted to hold them, which she did. She let me set them in her little hand and she was so gentle. But then she started to want to pick them up herself and as gentle as a two year can try to be, they are still two and so we moved on for fear of squishing any little critters between her little fingers. She touched snakes and lizards and frogs and big lizard-thingies-what-are-they-called-who-knows.
We came across a man with a small alligator (about 3 ft long) who was letting a little girl who looked to be about 5 or 6 sit on the floor with the gator in her lap and get her picture taken. Madie was enthralled. We asked her if she would like to hold the alligator and she nodded so we waited our turn and she sat right down and had the gator placed in her lap. She sat there so good and so calm and maybe there was a little tiny bit of apprehension in her eyes, but I was so proud of her because even at her age, she knows if there is something that she wants to try, even if it is out of her comfort zone and she just goes for it. Afterwards, she said "I was a little shy". And I told her that it was okay to be shy, but that it was SO neat that she held that alligator. And she knew it was. She was proud of herself too.
Last night/morning, she woke up and Jason went and got her and she came and crawled into bed with me. Before we fell back to sleep, she whispered to me:
"Hey mom, you know what?"
"What honey?"
"Me and you are friends."
"Yes we are honey, best friends."
"And Daddy is a friend too. He is a big friend and you are a little bit big friend and I am a little friend."
I love her more than words.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Friday, April 20, 2012
Bouncy
I was following my daughter out the door at my mom's at lunch and she stopped and turned towards me suddenly and her head bounced of my baby belly and she fell over. Seriously. And this is not the first time. Poor kid. I need to keep a clearance around this thing apparently! Stay at least 1 foot away from the baby belly for your own safety.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Mommy Guilt
Well, there is a broad title if I've ever used one.
Mommy guilt is a pretty constant thing is a mom's life I think, it can be due to something super duper small, or something very large and in your face. I had an in-between dose yesterday.
Day before yesterday, Betty had told Jason when he picked Mads up that she had bitten one of the little boys. I asked Mads about it and she said that he had hit her first. I know, no excuse for biting, but at least there was a reason. So I let it go.
Then yesterday, I get an email saying that she wasn't sure what was going on with Madie, but that she had already, poked the same little boy in the eye, hit him in the head with a toy car, and gotten unreasonably mad at her little friend Henry while they were playing. She had her doll and her blankie priviledges taken away by the time I got the email.
I was heartbroken.
Not because she was acting out, even though that wasn't like her, but because I knew deep down that it was a direct cause of how Jason and I have been acting lately.
We have been more stressed lately in our household and I am not sure if there is one cause or a whole bunch of causes. Jason gets worked up over the puppy, I get worked up over Jason, Jason gets worked up over me. I am not sleeping well, I am ready to just have this baby already, my body aches, baby and frozen shoulder related, I have none of my vices/destressors (a cocktail, a cigarette, my full dose of zoloft...) and my fuse is growing shorter and shorter. I realized that she sees us every night, freaking out and overreacting over at least one (sometimes more) minor things.
I called Jason immediately and told him we need to shape up, like NOW. He agreed wholeheartedly, and it was nice to know that we both knew we needed to start behaving better. For the sake of Madie first, but also for the sake of our marriage, our health, a happy home, everything.
I spent the lunch hour at the Tap with my mom, crying over the fact that Madie was at daycare being punished for her parent's bad behavior. I felt awful.
In the afternoon, I got another email saying that Mads was swinging and out of the blue said that she was going to be a good girl now and not hit anymore. Betty said it seemed as though she had been thinking things over and came to the conclusion that it was no fun to get in trouble and get her things taken away. I was happy to hear this, but had already decided that I was going to have a chat with her last night and tell her that not only did she need to be good, but especially mommy and daddy did too.
Last night while she was in the tub, where it is easier to get at least most of her full attention, I told her that I know we have been more mad and yelling lately and that mommy and daddy were going to be nicer and that we were sorry. I also told her it is ok to get mad, but to try and talk about it rather than hitting or biting, etc. I just really wanted her to know that I wanted her to be nice, but that myself and Jason were going to be nice too. And I think it got through to her at least a little bit. I think she understood. She is a smart cookie, so yeah, I am pretty sure she understood. She asked, So you and daddy be nice now too?".
Yes baby, we will, I promise.
Mommy guilt is a pretty constant thing is a mom's life I think, it can be due to something super duper small, or something very large and in your face. I had an in-between dose yesterday.
Day before yesterday, Betty had told Jason when he picked Mads up that she had bitten one of the little boys. I asked Mads about it and she said that he had hit her first. I know, no excuse for biting, but at least there was a reason. So I let it go.
Then yesterday, I get an email saying that she wasn't sure what was going on with Madie, but that she had already, poked the same little boy in the eye, hit him in the head with a toy car, and gotten unreasonably mad at her little friend Henry while they were playing. She had her doll and her blankie priviledges taken away by the time I got the email.
I was heartbroken.
Not because she was acting out, even though that wasn't like her, but because I knew deep down that it was a direct cause of how Jason and I have been acting lately.
We have been more stressed lately in our household and I am not sure if there is one cause or a whole bunch of causes. Jason gets worked up over the puppy, I get worked up over Jason, Jason gets worked up over me. I am not sleeping well, I am ready to just have this baby already, my body aches, baby and frozen shoulder related, I have none of my vices/destressors (a cocktail, a cigarette, my full dose of zoloft...) and my fuse is growing shorter and shorter. I realized that she sees us every night, freaking out and overreacting over at least one (sometimes more) minor things.
I called Jason immediately and told him we need to shape up, like NOW. He agreed wholeheartedly, and it was nice to know that we both knew we needed to start behaving better. For the sake of Madie first, but also for the sake of our marriage, our health, a happy home, everything.
I spent the lunch hour at the Tap with my mom, crying over the fact that Madie was at daycare being punished for her parent's bad behavior. I felt awful.
In the afternoon, I got another email saying that Mads was swinging and out of the blue said that she was going to be a good girl now and not hit anymore. Betty said it seemed as though she had been thinking things over and came to the conclusion that it was no fun to get in trouble and get her things taken away. I was happy to hear this, but had already decided that I was going to have a chat with her last night and tell her that not only did she need to be good, but especially mommy and daddy did too.
Last night while she was in the tub, where it is easier to get at least most of her full attention, I told her that I know we have been more mad and yelling lately and that mommy and daddy were going to be nicer and that we were sorry. I also told her it is ok to get mad, but to try and talk about it rather than hitting or biting, etc. I just really wanted her to know that I wanted her to be nice, but that myself and Jason were going to be nice too. And I think it got through to her at least a little bit. I think she understood. She is a smart cookie, so yeah, I am pretty sure she understood. She asked, So you and daddy be nice now too?".
Yes baby, we will, I promise.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Another Big Baby
As I mentioned, I have BPP's every week after 30 weeks and when they took Audrey's weight at 31 weeks, she was 4lbs 9oz. Well, I was looking back at some posts from when I was pregnant with Madie and found one from 36 weeks. Madie was 6lbs. At 36 weeks. Audrey was 5lbs. AT 31 WEEKS! Oh boy. At my appointment yesterday, I asked my doc about it and asked if he really thought I could go to term with a baby that would be like, I don't know, 14lbs or something! Luckily, he said we would get the weight again in 2 weeks and "look at what our delivery options are at that point". Luckily, I don't think he will let me have a14lb baby. And for that I am grateful. Man!
So now I am hoping hoping hoping that my date gets moved up. I don't really want it too close to Madie's birthday, so I am hoping we can look at a week before that. Like May something. My mom wants May 23rd, my Grandma's birthday. I feel weird about choosing a date for the birth of my child and I understand that it is not a normal thing to expect. I wouldn't be hoping for earlier if she was normal size, but I think it would be dangerous to have a baby too large, c-section or not. For me and her. So since we are already at that point, yes, I am hoping for an earlier date and since we will already need to plan on something then yeah, I am hoping to keep the girl's birthdays a little bit apart, like a week at least.
When we started trying to get pregnant again, it was around the same time that we conceived Madie and I liked the time line with her, being pregnant in the winter, having the summer off for maternity leave. I did think about these things. But did I ever think about the fact that their birthday's would then end up being really close together? Nope. DUH! Oh well. It might be nice to have joint parties while they are little and then by the time someone starts to complain, they will be old enough that they have their own friends anyhow and the guest list won't overlap so much as to make people come to 2 parties in 1-2 weeks, right? This is what I am hoping anyways!
So now I am hoping hoping hoping that my date gets moved up. I don't really want it too close to Madie's birthday, so I am hoping we can look at a week before that. Like May something. My mom wants May 23rd, my Grandma's birthday. I feel weird about choosing a date for the birth of my child and I understand that it is not a normal thing to expect. I wouldn't be hoping for earlier if she was normal size, but I think it would be dangerous to have a baby too large, c-section or not. For me and her. So since we are already at that point, yes, I am hoping for an earlier date and since we will already need to plan on something then yeah, I am hoping to keep the girl's birthdays a little bit apart, like a week at least.
When we started trying to get pregnant again, it was around the same time that we conceived Madie and I liked the time line with her, being pregnant in the winter, having the summer off for maternity leave. I did think about these things. But did I ever think about the fact that their birthday's would then end up being really close together? Nope. DUH! Oh well. It might be nice to have joint parties while they are little and then by the time someone starts to complain, they will be old enough that they have their own friends anyhow and the guest list won't overlap so much as to make people come to 2 parties in 1-2 weeks, right? This is what I am hoping anyways!
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