It's been an emotional week. Some of my loved ones are really struggling with some difficult, bad things and it is not helping that my mental state with this end-of-pregnancy is not so good either.
Without getting into details, my aunt is dealing with a tragedy involving losing her boyfriend and essentially her home as well as she does not want to go back after what happened. My mom is dealing with losing her boyfriend and home as well, in a different way though because he is just a bad person and is trying to evict her from the home that she has lived in for 16 years. This came with no communication or warning.
I went in for my baby's weight check on Wed and was told she is 8.5lbs give or take a pound and I am only at 35 weeks. I went to my doctor thinking he would plan for surgery at 38 weeks due to the size, but he instead told me he would not schedule before 39 weeks, May 31st, without an amnio. I will be in the hospital for 4 days which would involve me missing Madie's 3rd birthday party, bounce house and all. This, along with the growing middle of the night panic attacks that I dread every night that I may wake up to, sent me damn near the edge and I was sobbing, hardly able to breathe on the way to my car. And then realizing that my keys were no where to be found. Not a good topper to the shit week.
Now that I have had time to process the information, I have decided that I will plead, cry, beg, whatever it takes on Monday's appointment to let me schedule the c-section for May 29th. That way, I will at least be out of the hospital on Madie's birthday and be able to be at her party the next day. I WILL pull this off. I am determined.
Better yet, how about this baby comes earlier on her own, as long as she is healthy? I can hope.
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