Updates

- I was still less than 1cm dialated last Monday. This child is staying in until Thursday pretty sure. 1 more week. I think I can I think I can I think I can.

- Madie's lump below her knee grew 3x bigger in 2 weeks according to her doctor last Friday so he wanted her to be seen at Children's that same day. Luckily Jason was able to come and get her and bring her to the afternoon appointment.  They scheduled her for an MRI for tomorrow which she unfortunately has to have anesthesia for due to her age and general squirminess that comes with said age. So I am not thrilled for tomorrow. She has been put under once, a little over a year ago, for her adenoid removal, but still. It is not fun. Especially since she is a trillion times more aware this time and so I am really trying to explain what is going to happen so that she isn't scared. I hope it goes smoothly and that I can wait to cry until I am back in the waiting room. Ugh.  I am less worried about what the actual lump is than I am about the anesthesia! Hoping that they can determine the cause though so that we can determine how to remove said lump. Which may or may not involve more anesthesia gah!

- A good portion of my stress about tomorrow is riding down to St Paul. Isn't that stupid? I just want to be back on my full meds so that these things don't bother me (so much) anymore.

- Since upping said meds to 50mg from 25mg per my doctor's recommendation, I have not had any middle of the night panic attacks. Not to say that I haven't felt some anxiety rising up, but I am able to quell it fairly quickly before it turns into anything full blown.

- I am HUGE. I am not even exaggerating. Huge.

- I thought that I had talked about Madie's first appointment to look at her lump, but maybe I did not.  It was her first xray and not even thinking, I told her I would be with her. Right before they hustled me out of the room because, duh, I am pregnant.  **Back Story: Madie doesn't mind thunder or hard rain, but what she doesn't like is her room "flashing up" (lightening).** So I am standing in the hallway and the lights in the room go off and I hear the nurses tell her that It's Ok! There will just be a little FLASH! Like Lightening!. I was all like, Nooo tell her anything but that! But it was too late. When I walked in seconds later, she had her very brave girl face on and all was well.  I could tell she was slightly scared, but she wasn't going to let anyone know. She is my brave brave little girl.

- I have had 2 dreams now in which the outline of a baby foot pokes out from my stomach and I catch it and show everyone around me and let them touch it. It creeps me out but is pretty cool at the same time. I am entirely content with this not actually happening though, cause then I can say for sure it would be waaay more creepy than cool.